习惯了眼泪...
在不知不觉中已习惯了眼泪...
昨晚你又怒骂了我一顿，
为什么？为什么你总是那么爱发我脾气？
我做错了什么？我自认昨晚的我无辜得很。
昨晚我早已疲惫不堪。
你在深夜里扰我睡眠就算了，你竟然还在我朦朦胧胧间谩骂我？！
他迟迟不回家，也没交代一声，你却先狠狠地训我一顿先？！
说我一点都不紧张，还骂那些难听的话。
半夜被吵醒，试问谁能在几秒内就反应过来？
你不觉得自己太过不可理喻了吗？
好了，原来他手机打不通，要我开window live messenger找找他。
电脑被启动期间，我趁这个时候争取睡眠。
你却突然“woi”的一声，吓得我三魂不见了七魄。
然后，又是一连串的打骂。
我解释电脑正启动着，难道我连闭上眼睛养养神也不行？
你却反过来用极致愤怒的语气骂我一点都不紧张他什么的。
还刻意说得比我大声，刻意盖过我的声音不听我说的。
长久以来都是这样，在你耳里我说的都是没道理的话，说我只会顶嘴。
你以为我那么幼稚，连是非清白也分不清吗？
上了window live messenger，发现他还在。
我就如实向你替他报平安。
你对他迟回家不出声一事感到很愤怒，可谩骂的话却是说给我听的。
你可知道关电脑回房后，我躲在被子里默默地流泪了吗？
我几乎哭了整一个小时，才哭着睡了过去。
有一件事我感到很奇怪。
首先，他又不是第一天那么迟回家，也不是第一天手机没电，更何况他都二十几岁人了。
你担心迟迟不归的他，我可以理解。但有必要把你的情绪发泄在我身上吗？
这件事让我忆起从前的一段日子。
当时的我才刚搬到Taman Bersatu不久。
由于想念翠岭的朋友，我就连晚上也踏着脚踏车去找他们。
有时候还在晚上九点出，半夜一点多才踏着脚车回来。
可当时的你却没去理会我。
也许当时我没手机，你联络不了我。
但你可以联络我的朋友，或直接驾着车来找我，但你却表现得不闻不问。
也许当时你觉得·我有手有脚，自己会回家。
问题是，他也有手有脚，自己会回家啊。
更何况我当时才form 3，而他已二十来岁。
为什么你在这两件事上可以表现得那么极端？
罢了，你重大轻小也不是新鲜事了。
何况今时今日的我也不再稀罕你的关心。
但麻烦你可以别拖我下水可以吗？
你要宠他上天是你的事，但麻烦别再心情不好时来找我发泄。
我也是人，我也有知觉，我也讨厌被人骂，更何况是不可理喻的咒骂！
有时候，我真的很不明白你是怎么一个人。
不可理喻，气量超小，爱把小问题放大，又自以为是，没意识到自己的问题，总认为自己对的。
有时候看你在说哪些人怎样怎样。
我心想那不是你妈？
我夹菜不小心掉在地上，你就用斜眼我，我又不是不抹，你不爽什么？
所谓人非圣贤，孰能无过。就算是圣贤也会不小心掉东西在地上吧？
一件微不足道的事你也看得那么重，你不觉得日子过得苦吗？
有时候我真的觉得很怕。
我总是认为自己是个不记仇的人，因为我真的很快就能忘了之前的不快。
但渐渐地，我发觉我是错的。
我不是不记仇，我不过是很快地把情绪压抑下来。
每每流下委屈的泪水，我总是快速地想起以前所有不公的回忆。
习惯了眼泪
但这么持续下去，眼泪也会变质。
变成深红色的鲜血。
不是你的...
是我的...
2009年8月8日星期六
Bird Park & Aquaria Memories
I went to Bird Park and Aquaria last Sunday.However,I'm too lazy to transfer the photos to the computer,so the process has delayed to just today.
It was a very new experience for me as I have never went to zoo before.In fact,I was looking forward to go Zoo than Bird Park.Anyway,Bird Park did not disappoint me so do Aquaria.
These are some of the photos I caught that day,the nicest photos of course.
Ok,that's all for today.The pictures of Aquaria will be posted next time.By the way,don't expect too much for the pictures of Aquaria,because the surrounding was dark,plus the fish kept on moving.So the photo quality was truely bad.
Well,have fun for watching these pictures~
It was a very new experience for me as I have never went to zoo before.In fact,I was looking forward to go Zoo than Bird Park.Anyway,Bird Park did not disappoint me so do Aquaria.
These are some of the photos I caught that day,the nicest photos of course.
Ok,that's all for today.The pictures of Aquaria will be posted next time.By the way,don't expect too much for the pictures of Aquaria,because the surrounding was dark,plus the fish kept on moving.So the photo quality was truely bad.
Well,have fun for watching these pictures~
2009年7月16日星期四
有感而发
有一段时间没写部落格了，这次可谓是为了更新一下部落格而强迫自己写些东西的。
首先，就说说最近发生的“大件事”好了。MUET我得了个Band 4回来，对于这个结果我没什么感觉。总而言之，就是逃过了重考的命运，我实在不想再理会MUET了，虽然我挺爱英文的。
话说今天我和4 flat（Choon Khen改的 = =)在学校做了个PMR的华文理解问题。那篇短文读起来还真是一点难度都没有，但是我竟然只在5题里只答对了2题，而4 flat却答对了全部？！什么跟什么啊？我自认中文还不错，而且中文也没有退步的现象，但我竟然连PMR的问题都答得那么烂。这不禁让我想起我的PMR中文才得了个C，原来是有迹可寻的= =。算啦，怪就怪自己只读一遍，而且答案都非常相近。别提了～
昨晚心血来潮地上网查了些大学的资料。看了马来西亚几所有名的大学资料后，我才惊然发现我要读的科目竟然都不在它们的课程表里。我的天啊，这表示我得去较远的大学，如Universiti Terrengganu/Universiti Sabah。心理学真的有那么冷门吗？但老实说自我听说马来西亚的心理学教程是以马来文进行后，我已经对马来西亚的大学没什么兴趣了，但无奈我得面对金钱这个残忍的现实。
唉...没什么好写了。看来我的生活还真是非一般的乏味。算了，就这样。
首先，就说说最近发生的“大件事”好了。MUET我得了个Band 4回来，对于这个结果我没什么感觉。总而言之，就是逃过了重考的命运，我实在不想再理会MUET了，虽然我挺爱英文的。
话说今天我和4 flat（Choon Khen改的 = =)在学校做了个PMR的华文理解问题。那篇短文读起来还真是一点难度都没有，但是我竟然只在5题里只答对了2题，而4 flat却答对了全部？！什么跟什么啊？我自认中文还不错，而且中文也没有退步的现象，但我竟然连PMR的问题都答得那么烂。这不禁让我想起我的PMR中文才得了个C，原来是有迹可寻的= =。算啦，怪就怪自己只读一遍，而且答案都非常相近。别提了～
昨晚心血来潮地上网查了些大学的资料。看了马来西亚几所有名的大学资料后，我才惊然发现我要读的科目竟然都不在它们的课程表里。我的天啊，这表示我得去较远的大学，如Universiti Terrengganu/Universiti Sabah。心理学真的有那么冷门吗？但老实说自我听说马来西亚的心理学教程是以马来文进行后，我已经对马来西亚的大学没什么兴趣了，但无奈我得面对金钱这个残忍的现实。
唉...没什么好写了。看来我的生活还真是非一般的乏味。算了，就这样。
2009年5月22日星期五
What I expected have never come true.
Firstly,I wonder how fast was Soosan's marking speed?!
We took Maths T paper 1 on Wednesday,and she gave back the paper to us on Friday?!It's too fast,I don't even make up my mind to take back my paper.
This time she really be strict to us.She called out every single person who got wrong in the easy question,such as matrix.Fortunately,she did not scold me.Perhaps I have a great improvement compare to last time.
Anyway,what I expected have never come true.I expected to get a B+ for my maths T.But now my paper 1 just got B.This mean my paper 2 has to score higher,but I'm not that confident in paper 2...
Haiz...In fact,I felt quite frustrated after getting my paper 1.I made a lot of careless mistakes man!And some question was very easy actually,but I thought too much at that time and making my answer complex and wrong.What the heck am I doing at that moment?
By the way,what done is done.I should do revision for other subjects now.
We took Maths T paper 1 on Wednesday,and she gave back the paper to us on Friday?!It's too fast,I don't even make up my mind to take back my paper.
This time she really be strict to us.She called out every single person who got wrong in the easy question,such as matrix.Fortunately,she did not scold me.Perhaps I have a great improvement compare to last time.
Anyway,what I expected have never come true.I expected to get a B+ for my maths T.But now my paper 1 just got B.This mean my paper 2 has to score higher,but I'm not that confident in paper 2...
Haiz...In fact,I felt quite frustrated after getting my paper 1.I made a lot of careless mistakes man!And some question was very easy actually,but I thought too much at that time and making my answer complex and wrong.What the heck am I doing at that moment?
By the way,what done is done.I should do revision for other subjects now.
2009年4月25日星期六
Damn you,listening test!
Reading,writing and listening test had just over yesterday.
Well,I tried my best and I felt satisfied with my reading and writing paper though the test is not that easy.
But when came to listening test,I felt very frustrated or should I put angry?I can't listen clearly to the radio as the voice was too soft...And when I reflected my problem to the prefect,she just told me that the volume has reached to maximum and she can't do anything about it.
What the hell is that!Don't tell me her job is just to press play and let the tape works itself till the end of the listening test.Damn!I was frustrated throughout the listening test,cause I can't listen clearly on what the speakers said!
If I can score 10 out of 20 question,I'm relieved already.But would it be possible?
I was feeling to scold the prefects at that time.My MUET teacher told me there will be perfect silent during listening test,but the stupid prefects walked around with her high heels.Don't her know that the sound was so interrupting?
Damn!Damn!Damn!Everything was really pissed me off during the listening test!
Geez...I'm not going to take the test again,the band can't prove anything.To hell the listening test!Holy shit!
Well,I tried my best and I felt satisfied with my reading and writing paper though the test is not that easy.
But when came to listening test,I felt very frustrated or should I put angry?I can't listen clearly to the radio as the voice was too soft...And when I reflected my problem to the prefect,she just told me that the volume has reached to maximum and she can't do anything about it.
What the hell is that!Don't tell me her job is just to press play and let the tape works itself till the end of the listening test.Damn!I was frustrated throughout the listening test,cause I can't listen clearly on what the speakers said!
If I can score 10 out of 20 question,I'm relieved already.But would it be possible?
I was feeling to scold the prefects at that time.My MUET teacher told me there will be perfect silent during listening test,but the stupid prefects walked around with her high heels.Don't her know that the sound was so interrupting?
Damn!Damn!Damn!Everything was really pissed me off during the listening test!
Geez...I'm not going to take the test again,the band can't prove anything.To hell the listening test!Holy shit!
2009年4月13日星期一
My hand just injured by pipette on last Friday.
In fact,I'm not going to write this out since it's not really a "big case" to me.But since I'm extremely bored now,so be it.
My hand was injured by pipette on last friday (around 11 a.m.) at S.M.K Seri Garing's Chemistry Laboratory.I wonder how dumb am I.How can I injured my hand by myself.Sigh...I'm always saying a classmate who sit besides me clumsy,but I'm the clumsy after all.
Connect the syringe to a pipette.Isn't that a easy job?Indeed,it's really a easy job,but I made it difficult.Haiz...according to "someone's law" Force=mass x speed (hope I'm wrong even I had given back everything to my physics teacher) And that force is enough to cut a small wound somewhere near my "little finger".Can you imagine how "brutal" am I while conducting an experiment.Though the wound is small,but it non-stop bleeding.To be frank,that really scared me.Not because of the wound,but the non-stop bleeding.
Still remember that after my hand was being cutted by the pipette,"my world" was completely stoodstill for about 2 seconds.Soon after the incident,I was searching for the lab.assistant to get some aid.However,the lab.assistant seem lacking experience in handling this matter.
Anyway,I'm sent to a clinic.Before I continued the story,I must express my gratitude to 2 person first.They are my classmate and my homeroom teacher.Anyway,I should thanks to everybody who raised a hand to me while I'm in trouble.You know...I'm truly a silly in this case.
Well,what happened in clinic is actually not interesting at all.But one thing frightened me.That is when the doctor tried to check my wound.I felt really panic at that moment.After that,the nurse helped me to clean and the wound and so on and the doctor injected my body with anti-tetanus vaccine.The cost was RM 40 which is considered as cheap already.
After that incident,I realized what the old people so called "Be careful can ensure our safety for ten thousand years"
My hand has not healed yet.I heard the nurse said that my wound needs about 1 week to healed.Anyway,I wonder will there be any scar after the skin tissues recover.
My hand was injured by pipette on last friday (around 11 a.m.) at S.M.K Seri Garing's Chemistry Laboratory.I wonder how dumb am I.How can I injured my hand by myself.Sigh...I'm always saying a classmate who sit besides me clumsy,but I'm the clumsy after all.
Connect the syringe to a pipette.Isn't that a easy job?Indeed,it's really a easy job,but I made it difficult.Haiz...according to "someone's law" Force=mass x speed (hope I'm wrong even I had given back everything to my physics teacher) And that force is enough to cut a small wound somewhere near my "little finger".Can you imagine how "brutal" am I while conducting an experiment.Though the wound is small,but it non-stop bleeding.To be frank,that really scared me.Not because of the wound,but the non-stop bleeding.
Still remember that after my hand was being cutted by the pipette,"my world" was completely stoodstill for about 2 seconds.Soon after the incident,I was searching for the lab.assistant to get some aid.However,the lab.assistant seem lacking experience in handling this matter.
Anyway,I'm sent to a clinic.Before I continued the story,I must express my gratitude to 2 person first.They are my classmate and my homeroom teacher.Anyway,I should thanks to everybody who raised a hand to me while I'm in trouble.You know...I'm truly a silly in this case.
Well,what happened in clinic is actually not interesting at all.But one thing frightened me.That is when the doctor tried to check my wound.I felt really panic at that moment.After that,the nurse helped me to clean and the wound and so on and the doctor injected my body with anti-tetanus vaccine.The cost was RM 40 which is considered as cheap already.
After that incident,I realized what the old people so called "Be careful can ensure our safety for ten thousand years"
My hand has not healed yet.I heard the nurse said that my wound needs about 1 week to healed.Anyway,I wonder will there be any scar after the skin tissues recover.
2009年3月3日星期二
I'm feeling extremely down...
Today is really a depress day for me...When I heard that there were only 3 people in the class passed mathematics paper,I felt really sad cause I'm not one of them.And today...teacher returned the paper and I really get shocked with my score...A score that did not has any CGPA...
I knew I failed...but at least "lulus sebahagian" which still got 1 to 2< CGPA.However,these is what I get after all...
My luck was very bad since PMR...What I earned was always far away from what I targeted...Perhaps it was really my fault...but I can't accept it!However,reality was reality...it can't never change even though I don't accept it...
"Study hard next time"...It can't be the excuse for my failure...I can't self hypnosis and always tell myself "I will do better next time" as it never work...at least for me...
I felt really guilty now...to my family...to my teacher...and to myself.It's so shame to face it...
I don't want to think this way...and I know I should not think this way.I want to think positively,but I forced to think like these...Everytime I felt confident to score a higher marks,but it always ended up with unexpected marks...
Sometime I felt that I'm really stupid...I did all the questions to earn minimum marks...and others did some of the questions to earn maximum marks...These will make me feel that my paper was full of information,but everything was unwanted trash!
Have I made a wrong decision from the very beginning?I asked myself many times...and still the question remains unknown as I have no idea on it already...
I knew I failed...but at least "lulus sebahagian" which still got 1 to 2< CGPA.However,these is what I get after all...
My luck was very bad since PMR...What I earned was always far away from what I targeted...Perhaps it was really my fault...but I can't accept it!However,reality was reality...it can't never change even though I don't accept it...
"Study hard next time"...It can't be the excuse for my failure...I can't self hypnosis and always tell myself "I will do better next time" as it never work...at least for me...
I felt really guilty now...to my family...to my teacher...and to myself.It's so shame to face it...
I don't want to think this way...and I know I should not think this way.I want to think positively,but I forced to think like these...Everytime I felt confident to score a higher marks,but it always ended up with unexpected marks...
Sometime I felt that I'm really stupid...I did all the questions to earn minimum marks...and others did some of the questions to earn maximum marks...These will make me feel that my paper was full of information,but everything was unwanted trash!
Have I made a wrong decision from the very beginning?I asked myself many times...and still the question remains unknown as I have no idea on it already...
订阅：
博文 (Atom)
